June 24, 2024

Shared Lives Week 2024: James and Adrian’s story

Our Shared Lives carers say their work feels more like a lifestyle than a job. It’s a big part of who they are, but not all of who they are. Adrian, from Grimsby, decided to become a carer over two years ago but before then his life looked very different. In this blog, you’ll hear from Adrian about why Shared Lives has been a ‘blessing’ in his life.

Adrian’s life before Shared Lives

Adrian had a great career in hospitality before he discovered Shared Lives. Adrian said: ‘I used to run my own catering business before I moved to Grimsby where I bought a small house that needed some renovation. It was good for me and kept me occupied while I was adjusting to life living on my own after my marriage ended. I got involved in volunteering at the local soup kitchens, homeless shelters and food banks, which I really enjoyed.’

It was around this time that Adrian started to think about if there was a way he could continue to give back as a career.

‘I felt like there must be something I can do to be really useful and give back in some way’

Adrian said: ‘I was planning on starting a new catering business once the house renovations were complete, as it was what I knew best, but I wasn’t overly sure if that’s what I really wanted to do. I felt like there must be something I can do to be really useful and give back in some way.’

‘Being a committed Christian, it was natural for me to pray to God for guidance. It was around then that I came across Shared Lives on the internet and looked into what they do. It struck me that this kind of work would be ideal for me because I love looking after people. In the past, I used to listen to my customer’s problems and always tried to help them if and when I could.’

A new purpose with Shared Lives

Adrian supported two others as a Shared Lives carer before James moved in. James has a learning disability and spent most of his life in care. Things were tough for him. Living with his family didn’t work out, and at a young age, he ended up in a care home in Boston, Lincolnshire.

When James moved in, Adrian saw that James didn’t have much confidence. James often stayed in his room, playing computer games. He needed a lot of help from Adrian for both his body and mind. James also struggled with feeling sad, worried, scared to go outside, and even heard voices in his head.

Adrian was determined to help James feel better about himself, so he encouraged James to go to a Day Centre, which he now enjoys three times a week. Adrian showed James new fun things to do, like flying drones and searching for treasure with a metal detector. They’ve even taken trips to Blackpool, and James gets to pick where they go.

James and Adrian on holiday in Blackpool

Adrian also got James involved in fixing up the house, teaching him how to repair furniture. They often go for walks, which is great for James’ body and mind. Family is important to both James and Adrian, something that helped form the great friendship they have now.

James enjoys upcycling furniture since joining Adrian in Shared Lives

Adrian said: ‘When my children were still children I was very much a hands-on Dad, and took a very active part in their upbringing and caring for them. Now they are all grown up and left home, and I missed that aspect of parenthood and just being a father.’ 

‘Now [my children] are all grown up and left home, and I missed that aspect of parenthood and just being a father.’

Even though Adrian’s new role as a Shared Lives carer is very different to being a dad, he’s loved the supportive nature of the role and James and Adrian’s shared passion for family meant Adrian could help him stay in touch with his sister, and spend time with Adrian’s family too.

James’ transformation with Adrian’s support

Today, James is almost a new person compared to when he first moved in. He’s won three awards from his Day Centre, including one for being great at science, and those awards are proudly displayed at home. James no longer hears voices and has even gone out into the community on his own—a big step for someone who was once too scared to leave the house.

James’ accolades are proudly displayed in their home

Adrian has put his heart into being a Shared Lives carer, and because of that, James has been inspired to reach for his own goals.

‘I can honestly say Shared Lives, and the work I do, has been a blessing to me because I enjoy it so much. And I enjoy working with the people I work with too!’

Adrian said: ‘I can honestly say Shared Lives, and the work I do, has been a blessing to me because I enjoy it so much. And I enjoy working with the people I work with too! I will soon be selling my newly renovated house in order to allow me to buy a bigger house. I hope to then be able to help and support another two people within Shared Lives. I love what I do, and know in my heart that God led me to this kind of work.’ 

If you think you have enough room in your heart and home to help someone like James, get in touch with one of our friendly team members today to find out more – visit www.sharedlivescarers.com to find out more