November 26, 2020

Shelley’s career in domestic abuse #16Days

A moment that defined Shelley’s professional career in domestic abuse

Shelley is a one of our specialist domestic abuse practitioners in the Ruby @ Turnaround service in Merseyside. She has worked in domestic abuse for eight years. Originally, she was studying to become a social worker for children and young people but, after experiencing a placement in a domestic abuse service, Shelley felt this was the path for her.  

It was here that Shelley met a client who defined her career in domestic abuse. She recently reflected on that moment and put it into words for us… 

‘My first client inspired me to begin a career in domestic abuse. I was 27-years-old at the time and I was told I was going to take the lead on a case. To summarise the case, it read: “4-year relationship, ongoing harassment and criminal damage to the property’”, so there was very little information. I had a preconceived idea of what I was going to do to support this woman before even entering her address. What I learnt from this day was nothing can be predicted, assumptions should never be made and whatever is written down on paper is usually a snippet of what actually could be going on. 

I attended the address and was met by Diane* who I was supporting and her friend Sheila*. I could tell immediately that Diane* was terrified of me and my colleague being present at her home. She was visibly shaking and on high alert, jumping at the slightest sound. Dianne* could hardly get the words out when she was asked specific questions around the domestic abuse because she was so traumatised. I felt she kept looking at me and that I was distressing her more; I needed to do something to ease this.  

I remember seeing a picture on the mantlepiece of her and two other people, a similar age to myself. I asked Dianne* who those people were and she confirmed that they were her children. I remember asking Dianne*, do I remind you of your children? I can leave the room if this helps? Dianne* burst into tears and said to me that she didn’t mind me being there but she was scared that what she was going to tell me would never leave me and she wanted to make sure that I would be okay to hear it. Dianne* was trying to protect me, but I said that I was happy to stay in the room. I learnt so much from her that day.  

Dianne* was right, it never has left me but not for the reasons she thought. Dianne* survived the abuse and a few years later she gained strength to share her story at domestic abuse safeguarding events in her local area as a guest speaker.  

Every person I have worked with over the years has stood out to me for very different reasons and I’m really proud to have supported some of these women to share their own stories over these 16 days and beyond. It’s amazing to be a part of that, because it really does empower each and every one of them to make a difference which is what we do at PSS; we encourage their voices to be heard.’  

Living in Merseyside and experiencing domestic abuse? You can contact our Ruby @ Turnaround team on 0800 688 9990. Monday to Friday: 9.00am- 10.00pm and Saturday and Sunday 11.00am – 5.00pm.  

Or by texting ‘Ruby’ to 60777. 

#OrangeTheWorld 

#16Days 

#YouAreNotAlone