December 3, 2022

Domestic abuse support for ex-offenders, Aeoife’s story #16Days

‘Shelley was kind to me. I thought I needed to go into a refuge so that I would be able to keep my baby, but Shelley explained that we could put things in place that meant that I could stay in my own home if that’s what I wanted to do. Kim gave me confidence to be assertive with professionals when I didn’t feel I could be and helped me realise that I have the right to have a say in my own life… When I realised that my baby was going to be coming home with me and that he wasn’t going to be taken by social care, this was the best day throughout this whole experience. Even though I thank the Ruby team for everything they have done to help me, the staff always remind me that it isn’t them that have done this, it’s me…I achieved this with just a little bit of help along the way.

Now I’ve had my baby I have never been happier and couldn’t imagine life without him. I love waking up in the morning and enjoy every day. 

You need to get rid of the bad to receive all the good and that’s exactly what I have done and I will never look back.’

–Aeoife*

Support for female ex-offenders in Merseyside

Our Women’s Turnaround service supports female ex-offenders to make a fresh start with life, offering support which tackles the root of their offending behaviours. Aeoife was being supported by the Turnaround team when she experienced abuse. At this point she was referred to Ruby @ Turnaround for specialist support.

Aeoife admits she was sceptical, she didn’t feel that support would work for her and was so worried that her unborn child would be taken away from her. When she met Shelley, Kim and Tina they quickly changed her mind. She felt more in control of her own destiny than ever before and like she had someone who would support her, whatever her decision. 

Read her story in her own words…

 ‘I first met Shelley when my probation officer referred me to her. This was after my ex had assaulted me. If it wasn’t for Ruby @ Turnaround and  Women’s Turnaround helping me, I’m not sure where I would be today or even if I would have my son in my care without them. 

My ex assaulted me. He hit me and stamped on my head. He also hit me in the stomach when I was pregnant and threatened to kick the baby out of me. It was at this time I realised that this relationship needed to end and I was desperate for someone to help me. He had attacked me in the past but this was the turning point for me. I needed to protect my baby.  

When I met Shelley I was nervous. I had a mistrust in services through my own past experiences but Shelley was kind to me. I thought I needed to go into a refuge so that I would be able to keep my baby, but Shelley explained that we could put things in place that meant that I could stay in my own home if that’s what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to move but I thought that was what was going to be expected of me. 

My ex was on the run from the police after this all happened. I was constantly worrying that he would find me because of this.That wasn’t my only worry. I was constantly scared that if he came back to my property social care would think I was back in a relationship with him and remove my baby at birth. I was never fully able to enjoy my pregnancy and this is something that I am never going to be able to get back. 

I  started counselling with Kim and she was brilliant; it was like she could read my mind and she helped me come to terms with what had happened to me. If I was ever upset  Shelley would offer reassurance when I needed it as I wasn’t sure that I was doing everything right. 

Shelley spoke to me about a course called the Freedom Programme and advised me to attend the group and see how I felt with it. Tina, who runs the sessions was lovely to me and the rest of the group, she showed us every week that she cared about us all and is passionate about the work that she does. She made us feel safe talking in the group about our own experiences. It was also good to know that I was not alone.  

Living in Merseyside and experiencing domestic abuse? You can contact our Ruby @ Turnaround team on 0800 688 9990. Monday to Friday: 9.00am- 10.00pm and Saturday and Sunday 11.00am – 5.00pm.  

#OrangeTheWorld 

#16Days 

#YouAreNotAlone