November 30, 2020
Coercive domestic abuse and crime, Kavita’s story, #16Days
Manipulation in domestic abuse
Kavita* was manipulated into criminal activity by her partner. He would constantly play, ‘mind games’, with her and make her feel in danger if she didn’t agree to support his illegal activity. Kavita felt so trapped by this relationship and like there was no way out. Even at the time of starting conversations with the Ruby @ Turnaround team she wasn’t sure of the best route to take for her and her family.
Group domestic abuse support
The team offered advice and patience for Kavita to make her own decisions. Gradually, she decided to go to some Ruby @ Turnaround groups (pre-lockdown) where she met other people with similar experiences to herself. She began to understand the ways she had been manipulated and how her partners behaviours were not healthy or safe for her physical and mental health. So, she decided she would like to leave her partner.
Leaving an abusive partner safely
The team worked with Kavita discretely on safety planning so that she could arrange leaving without her partner knowing and stopping this. She left the relationship and emergency accommodation was arranged for her and her daugher. They moved into this safe space with support available if they needed it. The team then supported Kavita to look at more full-time housing options and to get a non-molestation order on her partner because of some concerns he was going to try and abduct their daughter. The Ruby @ Turnaround team supported her during the court proceedings, explaining every stage and attending court with her until this was put in place.
Legal support with domestic abuse
Despite setting these legal protections up, Kavita’s ex-partner breached his order. She was reluctant to report this at first, worried of the impact this would have on her daughter. She contacted the Ruby teams and, together, they worked on a report. She didn’t feel strong enough to do this on her own. Kavita was worried that her daughter might be removed by social services but because she had reported the breach, police were satisfied that she was doing her very best to protect her daughter and the case was closed.
Finding housing after domestic abuse
Kavita and her daughter then moved into a new home outside of area, reducing their risk and making them feel safer. Kavita was supported to apply for some furniture from the local council and also for a special grant to make the place more homely for her and her little one. The Ruby team also made Kavita aware of some special funding she could get for panic alarms and extra safety to be installed on her property, also called ‘target hardening’.
Kavita’s ex-partner was eventually charged for his offences and was sentenced. He is now unable to contact his daughter for 12 months and is getting his own support through probation. Kavita has finished her own probation order and is now so thankful that it helped her to get the support she needed at the best possible time.
Her and her daughter have settled into their new home and life together and Kavita feels she has a solid support network around her now.
Get domestic abuse support in Merseyside
For domestic abuse support you can contact our Ruby @ Turnaround team on 0800 688 9990. Monday to Friday: 9.00am- 10.00pm and Saturday and Sunday 11.00am – 5.00pm.
Or by texting ‘Ruby’ to 60777.